It is a truth universally acknowledged that when you buy something it will probably disappoint you. Most advertisements are at best misleading and at worst, basically lies. (Consumer reviews aren't always helpful either. I hate paging through five star Amazon reviews that all read some variation of "OMG just got my new binoculars!! They work great can't wait to try them out! Thanx Amazon!" I don't want to hear that you just got them and they work great. Of course they do. I want to hear that you set them on fire and they work great.) Therefore I'm always pleasantly shocked when I encounter some piece of outdoor equipment that not only lives up to the advertising, but goes above and beyond. In recognition of that here's a list of my top three items that have proved to be reliable field companions over the years.
1. Cabela's Rimrock Hiker
The world of women's outdoor wear is a cold and bleak place inhabited mostly by pink camouflage and yoga pants. I can't tell you how many times I've opted for men's clothing, which, although usually too big and awkwardly-shaped, is miles above the travesty that is the women's department of the average sporting goods store. Onto this depressing landscape the Rimrock Hikers shine like a beacon of hope. Pants, shirts, even coats can be compromised on; but as any outdoorsperson knows, you're only as strong as your feet.
I bought my first pair of Rimrock Hikers four years ago, before I set off for college. They survived an associate's degree with grace and style--and that includes miles of hiking every day, camping, caving, late-night-early-spring-salamander-hunting, wading, chainsawing, ghost-chasing, tractor-driving, an internship with the Forest Service, and just about everything in between. When I graduated they went West, and spent a good solid eight hours a day tromping over the soaked ground of the prairie pothole region in search of elusive grassland birds. For the autumn we headed back east and I wore them from sunup to sundown as an intern at an environmental camp. Afterwards we did a short-distance move to Lexington and, after several months of hoofing it around parks and some duct tape repairs, finally gave up the ghost. I bought another pair, and just in time, because the original Rimrock Hikers were discontinued and replaced with a
very similar boot. I don't know why but my hope is that it wasn't to introduce something lower-quality. Don't disappoint me, Cabela's.
2. L. L. Bean Continental Rucksack
The Mary Poppins' bag of backpacks. I can't quite get everything I own into my rucksack, but I can come close. (The car doesn't fit.) It doesn't have bazillions of tiny useless pockets so you can sort out your chapstick from your pencils. Instead it has one central compartment, two water bottle holders on either side, and a biggish front pocket for stuff you need easier access to. There's lots of straps and buckles, so it's easy to batten down the hatches for long-distance hikes. It's also just plain a nice-looking, no-frills backpack. No weird patterns, no built-in water thingie, no large brand symbol, and it comes in several naturalist-y colors such as Tidal Sand and Dark Russet. It's the sort of backpack John Muir might wear whilst overlooking the Yosemite Valley and stroking his beard. The only thing I have a bit of a problem with is the width. It's a very flat pack, which means even when full it doesn't stick out very far in the back. This is a sort of double-edged sword because it disperses the weight better so you don't get tired as quickly, but it's also harder to dig through if you want the thing you packed on the very bottom. Also it's pretty tall and I'm a tiny bit short in the torso for it to fit quite in the way it's intended; for anyone under 5'2 it would probably not fit well at all. All in all though, it's the best pack I've had so far.
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| "I approve of your backpack." --John Muir |
3. Nikon Monarch
I saved the best (and the most expensive at around $250) for last.This is actually a series of binoculars rather than one single model and I'm not quite sure which model I own, simply because most of the distinguishing markings have been worn off by 10 years of use. Mine are 8x42s but you can get Monarchs in just about any reasonable magnification. In terms of clarity, close focus, light-gathering capabilities, and all the other important binocular things, the Nikon Monarch consistently rises to the top of its price class and in my opinion out-performs some models with quadruple-digit price tags. It also just plain looks and feels like a good pair of binoculars--good weight, a rubberized coating that makes it easy to hang onto and more bouncy if dropped, good grips, and adjustable to a variety of faces--there isn't a thing to complain about. And you'd never know it's a piece of delicate optical equipment from the way I treat mine. It's advertised as waterproof and fogproof, but I can state from experience that it's also cement-proof, car door-proof, chocolate pudding-proof, semi-fire-resistant and about everything in between. (Disclaimer: Don't try it, though.) This is truly the cockroach of binoculars and I mean that as a compliment.
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| The Nikon Monarch also looks super sleek in action. |
The proper way to enter Red River Gorge with style is via the Nada Tunnel. Built for use by a logging railroad during the early 1900s, this one lane, 900-foot tunnel through the mountain is not for the claustrophobic or people who don't like dark places with literal tons of sandstone over their heads. Having gone to school right next to the infamous Moonville Tunnel I have a special affection for haunted railroad tunnels, and the Nada Tunnel has its share of alleged specters and mysterious lights. Tragically, it's a verifiable fact that the construction of the tunnel was not without at least two casualties. One man was killed while trying to thaw frozen dynamite near a campfire; another man was wounded in the blast and a dog apparently died as well. It's hard to know what to say about someone who thaws dynamite out over a fire, but I guess we all have our moments. Some of us are just lucky and live through them.
